Song Playing: "Clay"
An Original by Catherine Mulhern
EK
After high school I deferred from college for a year and served as a Catholic missionary with a group called the Regnum Christi Mission Corps. I was stationed in Rhode Island to provide formation to 32 international eighth grade girls. What an experience! I never pictured myself being so happy. Given it had its many challenges, I loved it! I loved the team I was on, I loved the girls I was working with, I loved the challenge of giving of myself every day, I loved the constant activity, I loved daily mass and the two chapels we had in our school/home, I loved that everything I enjoyed and everything I was good at seemed to come together in this one place, and most of all I loved that I was needed and that I was making a difference that I could see play out in front of me. Upon my arrival in Rhode Island, looking ahead to the rest of the year, I could not have been more excited.
And then the inevitable... my health problems began to slowly creep in and take over. I was supposed to be in Rhode Island for 10 months, but after 3 I had to come home. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I love my family and my home with all of my heart, but these were not my plans. I didn't want to go from happily giving of myself to my team and my girls in Rhode Island to doctors visits and being stuck in bed in Arizona. I had done that for half of senior year. I was ready to move on.
Then one day, while lying in bed, I remembered a story I had heard while I was in Rhode Island. It had never resonated with me until now: until I was at home, feeling useless, and not understanding the point of everything I was going through. Since then it has become one of my favorite stories. I hope it helps you as much as it helped me.
This story is based off an original called "The Cracked Pot"*:
There was a man who lived in a small remote village with no running water. His job was to trek two miles to the river every morning, carrying two giant ceramic pots on his shoulders, to get fresh water for the whole village. One day when he was walking back to the village, one of the ceramic pots fell to the ground, cracking near the bottom. The pot then began to leak, and by the time the man got to the village, all of the water had dripped out. It was completely empty. Even so, the man continued to carry the broken pot to and from the river every day.
After several weeks the strong and unbroken pot said to the damaged one, "I don't
understand why our master keeps carrying you to the river every day. You aren't strong and dependable like me. You're useless and broken. You can't do the one job you are supposed to. You can't even carry half a pot of water! Every time we get back to the village you are COMPLETELY empty. You're just in the way. You're such a burden... He should get a different pot."
The broken pot replied, "I know... I'm so ashamed. I am in the way. I'm broken and completely useless... I don't understand why the master still carries me. I can't even carry half a pot of water! I'm broken and useless and a burden, just like you said. Everyone knows it. I wish He would just put me aside and make a new pot. I'm not good enough anymore."
So the next day the broken pot asked his master, "Why do you keep carrying me to the river every day? I'm just an extra burden on your shoulders. I can't do what you need me to do, so please, stop carrying me because you feel bad for me and just get another pot."
His master looked at the broken pot in total surprise and said, "What are you talking about? You do exactly what I need you to do! ... You really don't get it, do you? You never noticed, but before you fell, the path to and from the river was cracked and dry, but ever since you broke, you have been watering the path every day. Now the soil is softened and flowers have begun to grow! Because of your "brokenness" you have made my path so much more beautiful, and you have watered flowers that no one else can water. Don't you see? You are not only needed, you are irreplaceable. So thank you for allowing me to use your brokenness."
Sometimes I still wonder how Christ is using all of the suffering we offer up. I guess until we get to Heaven we won't really know... But what I do know is that, even though I feel useless and broken, it is my exact "brokenness" that Christ is using to water those flowers that nobody else can water. I never thought that my hurt could be the water for someone else's growth. Only through Christ can our suffering be redeemed. Only through Christ can we come to see how irreplaceable we really are.
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*This is my version of the story based on what I think was originally a Chinese Proverb. I don't take credit for the ideas, and my version does sway some from what I believe is the original. If you know who I can give credit to for this, please let me know!
Broken
But some things just can't be controlled... when I went home, I did so begrudgingly. And when I got there I felt so useless. In Rhode Island I could see the difference I was making with my service, but in Arizona my suffering seemed so fruitless. My heart was broken and I didn't understand how Christ could possibly be using me as I was...
Acrylic Painting by Mary in Oregon
from a Jerry Yarnell tutorial
to see more art go to www.letsmakeapainting.blogspot.com